1) monday mornings should be spared of all kinds of fighting/arguing/quarrelling with (insert sparring partner here) unless you want to look like a boxer on a losing streak (read: puffed-up eyes) and own the reddest (not to mention leakiest) nose in town. *sniffs* ...

2) a big mug of hot milo in the morning makes me poo-poo in a flash. not that i'm complaining, it's good to be regular and all. hmmm why am i telling people this? too much information? ok i'll go on ...

3) a quick dash to get under a building saves one from falling objects. i'd recommend using covered walkways at all times. call me anal-retentive or whatever, i just don't appreciate a pot of flowers or old windows or worse, soiled panties, to land on my head. eeuuww eeuuww eeuuww!

4) if you're late for work and you can't find your favourite pair of shoes, the ones that match so perfectly with every single piece of clothing in your wardrobe, don't kick the cat or scream at the neighbour's kids, just wear your effing sneakers, damnit! or get a pair of effing sneakers that matches every single piece of clothing in your wardrobe.

5) i love sunny, windy days. sunny goes great with windy. sunny should always hold hands with windy. sunny and windy makes a great couple. sunny without windy makes me semi-grouchy. 'cos sunny without windy makes my armpits damp and sticky all day, and that's always the pits ... heh heh heh ... ummm .... hokaaaay, moving along ....

6) why would any sane person put mothballs in his/her wardrobe? do mothballs REALLY make your clothes smell nice and fresh (and keep moths out)? i don't get it. i'm hysterical 'cos this morning i shared the elevator with someone who obviously is a big fan of mothballs. by the time we got to the ground floor, my brains were fried ..... from all the fumes! i feel like hitting someone ....

7) it's always good to see your favourite colleague back at work after a month-long hiatus. so what do you do? give her a hug of course! awwww .....

-1805hrs-

... ready for more insanely useless musings? .... right this way, people ...

8) you're at the bus stop, waiting innocently for the bus and some dude on a motorbike takes his eyes off the traffic and stares at you (yes, with the vehicle still moving), a silly, toothy grin plastered on his face. what do you hope would happen at that point? be honest, i know there are alot of sick people out there ... hyuk hyuk hyuk ....

9) sometimes the air conditioning system at work makes weird noises. today it was tap-tappity-tap, tap-tappity-tap. i can't decide. it's a toss up between a horny rattlesnake and a sprightly tap dancing spider. show yourself, damn youuuu!!! i can't work with all that racket!

10) pimples suck. i'm astonished and stupefied that for someone who is over 30, i still get 'em lil buggers. why can't they just ravage some random teenager's visage or something? i mean, come on, aren't they tired of my face already? *sigh*. someone gave this smartass advice: get married, they'll all clear up. oh really? darnit, now i have to find a husband. like my life wasn't complicated enough. bitch. grumble. complain. snivel. whine. lament. moan. grouse. is that a new pimple? shite.

had enough? i did ....

Jewel mused @ 1:28 PM | | Permalink

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