i would not crawl out from under my comfy rock for anything (well maybe a pint of ben&jerry's ice cream), but i made an exception this time cos i'm feeling supremely pissed. why? i'll tell you ...

cos some people can be a royal pain in the ass sometimes ...

what? are they now handing out awards for blatant rudeness and insensitivity or something? do one get brownie points for being a totally disrespectful son of a bitch? i guess some think it's fashionable to put people down and strip them bare of any dignity and respect. then again some would stupidly assume that being an ignorant and mean-spirited moron endears them to others. seriously these people just need a really hard kick in their ass. only then would their brains move back to the original position and discover their true function: to think, not just regulate flatulence.

anyways, i digress. i needed an outlet to vent. the cause of my ire is really about the stupidity and ignorance of our (malay) community in general. here's a scenario ...

a woman is over 30, comes from a reasonably respectable family, is chaste, dresses modestly, has a good job and of generally good character/behaviour. on face value, people would think, there goes a nice, respectable girl. but find out that she's unmarried, and BOOM suddenly she doesn't deserve respect and love from people. is she less human because she's not somebody's wife? does it make it ok to ridicule her by calling her an "anak dara tua" (old maid)? is that reason enough why she should be humiliated and made to feel small? i guess some like to feel justified about being a smug-married (no matter how unhappy they are). so they put (pathetic?) unmarrieds down by resorting to such name-callings or stoopid, unprovoked, unwarranted questions/statements ...

"you're still not married? don't wait too long or nobody would want you"
malay - "belom kawin? jangan tunggu lama2, nanti takde orang nak"

"you're over 30 and unmarried? hey i know some desperate old men looking for second wives"
malay - "eh dah tua gini pon belom kawin? cik kenal ramai orang2 tua carik bini nombor 2, nak tak?"

"you're getting older, not younger. what are you trying to do? preserve yourself into a crinkly pickle?"
malay - "awak tu makin tua, bukan makin muda. kenapa tak kawin2? nak tunggu kerepot macam jeruk ke?"

"why are you not married? haven't found the right man or are you too choosy?"
malay - "kenapa belom kawin2 lagi? belom jumpa yang sesuai ke awak yang memilih sangat?"

"women over 30 will lose their "value". people would pay peanuts to marry you"
malay - "orang pompan ni kalau umur dah lebih 30, saham jatuh. nanti hantaran $1 je. kah kah kah"

"i know another girl just like you! over 30 and unmarried. no boyfriend some more. that's an old maid for you. haha!"
malay - "eh kawan saya satu ni pon dah tua belom kawin2. takde boifren lagi! tu lagi satu anak dara tua! haha!"

har har har .... go ahead, have a field day of mirth at my expense. i bet you're feeling extremely proud of your f--king brusque humour. what makes you think you're better than me cos you're married and i'm not? f--king imbeciles.

i'm so immuned by the incessant "when are you getting married?" question that it doesn't bother me anymore. i would be more bothered by a flea attacking my neighbour's dog. my automatic reaction would be a nonchalant shrug and a casual "it will happen when it happens, i leave it to God". it doesn't matter to me that people still don't get it. i'm not the least affected that people fail to remember that marriage is in the hands of God. so go ahead and ask that question every time you see me, i won't bite your head off and spit it into the nearest septic tank. it'd only reflect what an insolent barbarian you are. marriage is like death, you don't know when it's gonna happen. morbid comparison, i know but that's a fact. Allah is the best of planners. aren't muslims supposed to believe in qada and qadar? so how the f--king hell could i answer that question then? i'm not freaking married yet cos it's NOT time. or malays would say "belum ada jodoh". get that through your thick skull or did you ask that question just to be a class act ignoramus? f--king assholes.

seriously, if the smug-marrieds are so tormented by the fact that i'm not married, why don't they just leave me alone? isn't it easier to pretend that i don't even exist than wonder and ponder the reason of my bachelourhood? it's astonishing that i could be minding my own business, happy to be invisible and inconspicuous and suddenly some halfwit would just shoot an arrow to my ass, totally unprovoked. i mean, really, i'm flabbergasted. what did i do to you? i don't give two hoots why the f--k you're married so why do you care why i'm not? stop being so f--king pompous. so you're married and you're happy. woohoo, go you. have a good life. i don't f--king care, really.

i really don't know which is worse ...
1) have jealous wives giving me the evil eye cos their psychotic imagination envisioned me as a "husband snatcher" (i must be totally demented to want your f--king husband when there are so many yummylicious single men out there to choose from. f--king bitch)
OR
2) have married men annouce to the world that i'm a pathetic "anak dara tua" (i'd rather be a pathetic andartu than be married to men like you, f--king moron).

i don't see much difference between these 2 evils, really.

to smug-marrieds who don't know what to do with your hands/spouses, do me a favour. stay the f--k away from me. f--k off. FUCK OFF. i mean it.

*crawls back under rock*

Jewel mused @ 5:46 PM | | Permalink